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1.) How are you connected to adoption?
Adoptive mom to four
2.) Do you do anything special to celebrate national adoption month (Nov.)?
not really but since it is around the time of our first placement AND dd's birthday we end up talking about it more than other times of the year
3.) When growing up, did you know anyone connected to adoption?
I have several adopted cousins and knew several families who "adopted" unofficially
4.) If you can remember, when did you first learn about adoption as a child?
[I don't even remember, it was just a normal way to build a family. I did know from an early age that I would adopt[/b]
5.) In high school, did you know anyone who had a baby and placed?
no
4.) Anyone in your family, other than you, connected to adoption? lots (see above)
5.) When adopting or placing your child, did anyone say rude/ignorant comments? What were they? If you are an adoptee, have you received rude comments? many but most were just ignorance or people being innocently curious and less than tactful. The only truely rude (intentionally hurtful)comments have been on the net
6.) If you had to do things all over again with either placing your child or adopting, what things - small or large - would you do differently? Our older children were placed in closed adoptions and if I could do it over I would have gone around the agencies inorder to have contact with the birth family. With our subsequent adoptions we made sure the birth parents could always contact us
7.) How has placing/adopting your child changed you? Raisimg children is what I always wanted to do with my life. Adopting has allowed me to achieve that but adopting the children I have with their own unique challenges and abilities makes me sure that there was a plan
8.) How has your views changed on adoption since placing or adopting your child?I have become more hopeful and more cynical at the same time. I see positive changes for all members of the triad and especially for waiting xchildren but it is still slow going. I have witnessed in the past year some really underhanded and ethically challenged people involved in the process
9.) Do you have a closed, semi-open, or fully open adoption?
Two full cloed that we are seeking to open, one fully open and one semi open that is new so we will see how that goes
10.) If you have an open adoption, what has been the toughest thing about it? can't think of anything hard. It just is what it is. I love them fsaults and all, they are family.
11.) If you have an open adoption, what has been the best thing about it?
For my kides, having the continuity of their first family in their lives, for me the ability to get information and in the case of our third child a precious relationship with his birth family. They are my only family that is local and coincedentally we like them and look forward to spending time with them
12.) What has been the greatest lesson you've learned about the other side of the triad? (example: If you're an aMom, what have you learned about bMoms)I went to a great support group meeting with Sam' birthmom and learned just how worried about rejection expectant moms and birth moms were. From this side of the triad it was amazing to see hey were feeling exactly the same way we were
13.) Name your biggest pet peeve in the adoption world?
It's a tie between greedy professionals and patronizing ones. Of course it is eay to spot the ones who are in it for th $$ and will screw birth parents and adoptive parents with equal aplumb but it is the ones who claim to speak for members of the traid, claiming they know best that I detest. Good SW work means giving people the education resources and tools to speak for themselves and supporting their voices
14.) If you are a birthmom, would you ever consider adopting a child? Why or why not?
15.) Are you satisfied with the adoption agency you placed/adopted through? Why or why not?
Lack od education on openness
16.) Do you currently attend a support group or receive any counselling through an agency?
occasionally attend a group at "The Kinship Center" for all members of the traid and families
17.) Name a disappointment you've felt after placing/adopting:
That for far too many people I will never be acknowledged as my children's parent. I will forever be raising "someone elses's child"
18.) Name a misconception people (family,strangers) have about you being an adoptive mom or birthmom or adoptee:
Adoption in tenuous and temporary
19.) What books, magazines, websites, articles, links, etc ...have you found most helpful after placing/adopting?
"Adopting After Infertility"
"The open Adoption Experience"
20.) Write anything you wish here:
maybe latert
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