Lewey, I am sorry that you are feeling hurt with your reunion.

But there seems to be a reacurring theme that I have noticed on these boards. It involves all memebers of the triad....we are looking for someone else to relieve our "pain". Our pain belongs to us alone...we need to deal with it....get through it OURSELVES. We can not expect out birth children, birthparents, or anyone else to do it for us. We are all seperate human beings with our own personalites and capabilties. Once we have dealt with our own problems, figured out what is best for us and how we can do this on our own, can we bring someone else into the equation. Your son may not be CAPABLE (because of that blonde, redhead,LOL) at this time of giving you what you need. Birthparents may not be capable of giving what the adoptee needs, as an adoptee that hurts....but I am the one that has to deal with it...fair or not....we have to accept it!

We hope for the best but quite often we don't get it....to waste time and energy on blaming other people for our pain does not help us it just makes us stuck in our own pain.