You sound like you are very overwhelmed right now. You need to remember to take things slow. ALWAYS remember that you have not decided to place your baby for adoption until after he/she is born no matter what you're considering. When I gave my daughter up, I had a wonderful agency that was used JUST for me. My counselor was awesome. My baby had to be placed in foster care for 2 weeks until my court date to waiver parental rights (Wisconsin state law) and my agency counselor was there for me night and day when I needed to talk to her.
I want you to take a deep breath, and consider all of your options. If you decide to parent your baby, there are resources out there to help you and any adoption agency you should use during your pregnancy should make you aware of these resources and help you use them. If you haven't told your parents, remember, it isn't always as bad as you have it played out in your mind.
A few hints. If you are considering adoption, contact an agency in your area. Remember that YOU are in charge and can "fire" any agency that makes you feel that you and your baby are being put on a sales market. Any counselor that talks to you and doesn't make it perfectly clear that this isn't something you've decided yet, should not be your counselor. Every aspect of your baby's adoption is in your hands. You have the right to pick your baby's parents, decide how much contact you want in the future, and how open you want the adoption to be....even if that means you want full identifying information and frequent visits with the family. The agency will give you profiles of couples who agree to your terms.
Always remember, that adoption is an unselfish choice and that deciding to parent your child is not wrong. I am a 24 year old mother of 4, minus one birth child. My oldest is almost 7 years old. It isn't easy, but you are capable, if that is what you want. You hold the power to accomplish whatever you want in life. It just takes hard work and preseverance. If you aren't up to the challenge just yet, that is totally understandable. If you'd like to talk, just email me. Good luck and remember you're never alone.
Take a deep breath!!!
