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1. I have 6 adopted children and soon to finalize number 7.
2. NO
3. I had a friend in foster care in seventh grade who was adoptd in ninth grade.
4. My mother talked about adoption when I was a small child. She had planned to run an orphanage when she met my father and got married.
5. My father told me to be careful what type of child I took as they could be psychopaths. Many people ask me which of my children are related.
6. I'd educate myself better about how the system works and about how early childhood trauma affects the brain.
7. I'm a lot stronger and I think I have more understanding of how my children's mothers ended up with the problems that caused them to abuse my/their children. It has given me more compassion and allowed me to be more open minded about some situations.
8. Love doesn't solve all the problems and adopting doesn't replace the first mother. Also, accepting the first mother is not the same as accepting the abuse.
9. All my adoptions are closed(although with some of the re-adopted children there is contact with the former adoptive parents). My Romanian born children have little info about birth parents, and my American born children do not at this time want any contact with their first moms. For some, I think it would be better if they chose never to change this for their own safety, for the others, there may be a benefit to having a relationship, but this is entirely up to them and I will support whatever choice they make.
10. n/a
11. n/a
12. My children's bmom's had horrible childhoods and are not the monters they were made out to be. They were repeating what they had learned.
13. People who consider healthy babies to be "waiting chilren" that they are doing a favor by adopting. Older and special needs children are the children who wait and I adopted to be a mom, not to do anyone any favors.
14.n/a
15. No, the education about the damage trauma does and how to help the children heal was very, very poor.
16. Yes, I belong to 2 support groups-one for adoption, one for attachment disorder and we have a family counselor who works with the children.
17. When I work really hard to help a kid and they don't heal or worse, sabbatoge themselves.
18. that were "saints" for taking these poor kids. We're just moms.
19. ADN newsletter, RADzebra.org, anything by Nancy Thomas, Foster Cline's books, Keck and Kupecky Adopting the hurt child.
20. There are kids who do not want to be adopted and some who do better in group homes where the intamacy of being a family member is removed. This is an ugly reality when adopting abused children and parents should not be judged when choosing not to go through with an adoption that will hurt all involved, including the child.
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