I completely understand how you are feeling right now---and yes I did too have to go through these tests along with some additional counceling before my homestudy was completed. For the same reason you have been and for being a victim of sexual abuse as a child
I don't know what kind of adoption you are wanting to achieve but, has your caseworker said any of the costs might be re-paid or do you have access to any public insurance?
I was able to do the testing at a clinic who charged on a sliding scale and also provided other mental health services. My reguar doctor was also able to help. It did cause delays to our homestudy and was terribly disapointing when it all hit the fan.....but, your caseworker should be able to help you?
This does not mean you will not get your homestudy finished. And it is sad that being a Foster Child in the long past leads to this stupid red-flag------it is psycho-babble and all the BS about cycles repeating and being sure what mostivates us to become parents ourselves.... I just went with the fact that my experiences ended up well and made me who I am today. I also had to answer to the fact that I do not fear taking action when I experience depression....and I felt I would be a good mother for a child who might have genetic mental health issues having lived that life and known what the signs are, and that there is help.
This is a road block but, not the end of the road....I guess if we take ourselves out of the situation we can try to give the system some logical excuse for this whole line of bull..... It does not make the schock any less hard to face.... We can only hope these methods change in the future. My little girl wants to adopt her kids too and I hate to think how hard it will be since she was a foster child who was adopted at 5! If anyone can understand how this is great for the children I would think it is those of us who have seen it from a childs eyes.
Being asked to take all of these tests was shameful for me again as an adult and I almost never ever talk about this issue here on the boards.... It is sad the system has made me shame something that happened so long ago and was never in my control...... I think some of us Adults should protest to see this raod block changed, or that the State who was responsible for putting us into Foster Care should pay the bills for this stuff now! I may case my parents were completely inocent and it took months to get me back---in my case I could have had some bitter feelings about it all..... But, I can tell you it has been worth the tests and exams and letters and proff to get to where I am today as an adoptive mother...........funny no one asked me to do this when I was a 21 year old mother of two birth children....I could have actually used this all much more way back then!
I only got my homestudy moved forward by pushing it and doing the tests they believed I should have done. I wrote letters to my state and basically begged..... one little thing I mentioned to the state but never had to actually do was a discrimination case----why is what happened in our childhood a rule out for adoption?..... A rational person would think we would be the BEST people.
Sorry this is happening to you............... AZ is a pretty good adoption state, I would start contacting everyone in the Government and go to the top of the system with letters.....and if that does not get you help there is always the media.....but, most of us would rather not go public with all this stuff.
I have this feeling when we adopt through the state it is theri upmost goal to weed out the weak and those who will not look for answers to problems we face....after all most of our children coming out of the system need parents who will not take no for an answer......sometimes i think it is a test to see if we will fight for what ever our needs are and then prove we will do the same for the children we have placed? Who knows but it sure is rotten and a lot of work. It sounds like you have the same wording in your notice as I had in mine---'Pending' which means to me you are not out of the game, just have to find out which tests and rules they want you to play by........ I called my county mental health department and got the help going there.... Good luck and don't give up.....
i guess it would be a sad thing if a child who was hurt really bad in the system grew up to use the system to hurt back.... I guess the states just have to protect themselves from the very people they worked so hard to protect once? I don't understand it all but, am very happy I am about to finalize on my siblings....... My delay was only a few weeks and most of the costs I was able to find coverage for......