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bmoms
This all sounds way too simple to have an open adoption and everyone being friends, although I am sure it's possible. But while one is looking for a little baby to call one's own, it's easier to make those promises, then it might end up carrying them out. There are cautions in such promises, as with the case with the drug addict bmom and criminal bdad, granted, nothing happened, but... Not only that if the bmom carries on a different life after a few years and wants to forget what happend, have seen this happen, then the child suffers a loss und maybe even guilt, as is in divorces. Also the danger of the bmom trying to interfere with decisions aparents make and so on. The way the board reads it's too simplified and it doesn't work that way in many cases. My worries would be that if the child gets to an age where he/she doesn't like something the aparent says, he/she might say I want to go to my bmom. It doesn't matter how well you raised the child, it is a possibility. I look at it like it is in divorces (I am not divorced, but have seen it so many times), if the mom or dad doesn't do what the child wants he/she wants to go to the other parent and sometimes will cause many other problems on the way. All I am saying it is not as easy and uncomplicated as it sounds or as it is wished to be. There could be other problems as well. I definitely would go along with open adoption, giving updates and photos, it can do no harm and won't interfere in much of anything, but the pal thing, I am not sure is a good idea. If living close to the bmom, then a visit now and then and phone calls would be okay too. But aproach such a contract with caution. Hopefully I didn't sound too negative.
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Doris
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