[jadynsmom]

Hi, I haven't been on the forum in awhile, but I am looking for some advice. I have a semi-open adoption with my daughter's bmom. My husband and I had been discussing having a more open adoption since our daughter's bmom lives not too far away and has a son that we would like our daughter to know. We were not sure how to approach this idea with our daughter's bmom since it had not been discussed before the adoption (original agreement was letters and pictures twice a year).

My daughter is 11 months now and we are planning a 1st birthday party for her with family and friends. When during an email exchange, the topic of the 1st birthday came up, we decided to invite her to the party. She was really receptive to the idea and only voiced concerns about making others feel uncomfortable. I am concerned that maybe she is not considering the emotional nature of a first meeting after placement almost a year ago, but what do I know? Should I just go with what she says she feels, or should I be prepared for a more emotional day? I already asked her to come early just in case so she is not overwhelmed in a large group of people and we have told other invitees that she will be there so they are informed and will hopefully not be insensitive in what they say. We have a great relationship with bmom and want that to continue, if not improve.

If anyone who has been on either side of a similar situation can share their experience or advice, I would greatly appreciate it.