[HappyMomAnna]

My daughter was adopted by us 10-months ago. She still cries about the things the Foster Mother kept...things she believed were hers...like most children. We have talked about the "items" and about why they were hers or were not....
The things that seem to matter the most are the things she was a part of...including vedios... alot of them. Her feeling was that if she had been at the store and been the one who picked then they were hers... It really is that simple in her mind.
She also feels deep pain in things that she saw given to the foster family that were especially for her to use...she watched that lady at the church give the foster mother the "hello Kitty sheets, for her to use" so to her they are hers... And there was a bike three sizes too big that Santa brought... for her.
We were told to expect our children to LEAVE the Foster home with the clothes on their backs and it was pretty close to that.
We were told that even though the Foster Family is paid to meet the childs needs it is assumed those resources will be used by future children in the home.... our one year old came with a sleeper and the teddy-bear his birthmother gave him.
The only thing I can say is that is does come up farily often and my daughter has developed a resentment in the area of "things" she is very possessive about what is hers now, and she does have sharing issues....
I think I would try and find out why your little girl claims ownership of the item and talk about them, you might have to sit down and sort it all out item by item and stand firm on the things your purchased as a "Family" thing and those that were actually given to her.... just picking out what movie to buy does not mean itis exclusively hers.... I presonally, would not say half and half because she needs to understand that a family is a whole unit especially if she is going to become the only child with her father. it could be a valuble lesson she may never have the chance to learn again...and at her age it seems to me you can handle this with out it being ugly.... you are not obligated to allow her to take anything.... she should know this, and then she might be more excitied about the "gifts" you send her with.