[HappyMomAnna]

I am thankful to know that my impulse feeling about the lifebooks are not out of line. I agree that the writer of the books clearly used words that show her feelings. In this case the books are beautiful and well made the secretary who made them did a nice job on the show... it is in reading the words that the overwhelming feeling 'this cannot be good' comes up.
I do want the children to understand what has happened, but I also want them to have compassion for their birthmother... I do not believe many of the words written in the lifebooks convey any compassion at all.
.......................................And yes, birthmom had a horrible life, she was sexually abused by her own father and placed in Foster care herself. There was an aligation that a foster brother molested her but the claim was unfounded (according to the records) Birthmother has had a very hard life and in my opinion had little chance to even know what a functional life was like. She ran away at 15 and have been mostly homeless since that time. She willingly placed our children's older brother at birth and has now given birth to another boy... We want our children to have faith in everyone, including their birthmother. We want them to imagine her safe, and warm at night and not sleeping in a shack. We want them to believe in her sucess as that could be the greatest Prayer for her future. We want them to be able to find her oneday if they wish to look...and when they do we want them to know she loved them.....because I know she did.
Thanks everyone....I have decided. We will make a picture book for our five-year old to look at. She is very scared she will forget what her birthmother looked like... We will also edit the life book and consider the phrasing of the information given. The same message can be made without the tone of contempt.

I still do wonder however? Do adult adoptees feel anything different when they are willingly placed or the state termintates the rights... To me it would be easy to jump to conclusion and as an adoptive mother I never want to jump to anything--I would like to hear from adoptees and understand their thinking.