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"My concerns are mostly about how they will feel when they are grown...and the lifebook does clearly say their mother "suffered mental health issues she refused to have addressed in order to keep you..." It also actually says, every time she tested positive and for which drugs and that she "didn't care about her baby being healthy and she put her baby in danger when she decided to use drugs." The lifebooks actually says: "some moms decide they like drugs too much to keep theri kids safe.. and some moms won't stop using the drugs to keep theri kids, your mom decided she wanted the drugs more then getting you returned..."
I have quoted the exact words used in the lifebook the State made and gave to our children...I wonder if it is unethical to edit the books..." ~ HappyMomAnna
Anna, I think it would be "unethical" to edit out the FACTUAL INFORMATION in this lifebook; but I don't think you would be at all out of line to edit out all the sanctimonious, judgemental speculation and conjecture, which tells the reader a whole lot more about the person who WROTE this text than about your child's birthparents. Adoptee does not mean "idiot". I'm sure that in the future your child will be capable of reaching her own conclusions about whether or not her mentally ill, drug-addicted bio-mother did or did not care about her safety and well-being. I think the lifebook would actually be a much more valid and accurate document without all the dogmatic and patronizing assumptions. Edit out the moral superiority; leave the facts. Your daughter will read it and know the truth.
best, ~ sharon
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