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My kids were all removed by social services. The oldest was sad one day about being adopted. I told him how sad his birth mom was about not being able to parent him. This relieved his suffering somewhat. The job of explaining why birthparents were not able to parent is similar in both situations. It is all a choice. To keep using drugs, and not providing, the choice to find a good home and relinquish, and all the gray area in between. One day my daughter was not able to tie her shoes. I said, you want to do this but you can't right? It is the same with your birthparents, they wanted to parent but they just couldn't.
I think the bottom line is too communicate about love. The children ned to know that there is plenty of love in this world for them.
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"It is a great truth and difficult to understand, that the greatest deeds must be done by he, who is content to remain anonymous, lest his action be impeded by too ready acclaim." Anonymous
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