Hi Kelly.
I adopted an "older" child of 4 1/2 years from Estonia. Being older myself, I actually wanted a 10 year old when I first started looking into adoption, but the minute I saw my daughter's picture, I knew she was the one.
I don't know where you are in your "consideration" phase of adopting. I remember the hardest part was deciding which way to go....which country....how old a child....what agency to use, if any.
After being totally frustrated with our local state government in trying to adopt domestically, I decided to pursue international adoption. One of the best POSTING sites was Eastern European Adoption Coalition (EEAC) and now Adoption Forum as well. Gather information. There are also Estonian Adoption Forum groups on Yahoo.
Estonia will not allow an independent adoption. Therefore, you must choose an agency to work with. It took me a total of 9 months from start to finish to bring my daughter home.
The agency I worked with sent me a tape of my daughter, after I saw her picture on their web site. Adoption Patch is a good resource for these pictures as you can at least see some of the children. But, I would also recommend that you call several agencies to ask them about their program. Most important is to get REFERENCES. I initially worked with an agency that told me what I wanted to hear (specifically the director of the agency) and didn't know what they were doing. They knew what documents were needed for the dossier but didn't know the protocol of appointments to be made once we were over there. I had the good fortune of going over with another mother who was adopting previous to me, so I could meet my daughter and subsequently learned the ropes of what needed to be done when we were there.
The first agency and I parted our ways after that (I was not happy with how they left us literally stranded over there and we - the other mother and I - had to be forthright in BEGGING for appts. so we could all go home on time). The second agency really did nothing. Our dossier was already over there, and we were waiting for the court date.
You do not need to go over to Estonia. I'd happily oblige!
But, you would be missing an opportunity to truly bond with your child and their heritage, no matter where you adopt from, if you don't go over there and bring them home yourself.
Please read about bonding with an adoptive child. There are so many things that we take for granted that are so very important to them. Like the first time they leave their orphanage how happy but also traumatic it is when they are surrounded by people who don't speak the same language. Believe it or not, I broke the ice quickly with my daughter by blowing bubbles and playing balloon volleyball over the beds in our hotel. McDonalds in Finland was a TREASURE to her. Watching her face the first time she ate french fries with ketchup was precious (not very healthy but Finland was very expensive to eat and lodge at). You do what you need to.
I would adopt another child from Estonia in a heartbeat. The government officials were both professional and personable. They truly care about the children and want to get to know you a little bit too before you leave the country. I liked the fact that it was not an adoption machine country where the children were flying out to be assimilated into other cultures. Estonia is careful, but I feel professionally caring in their pursuit for better lives for their children. I have guided and commiserated with many other families that have gone through the process. I am not affiliated with an agency, but am firmly committed to opening the door to others to seek the blessings of adoption.
As previously posted, older children are the norm, but there have recently been young (year old to 18 month olds) adopted. I don't know what your age range is for consideration, but remain open that truly the right door will open for you to pursue.
If there is anything I can do to help, even if just to listen, let me know. We've all been through the process of data gathering, rushing toward deadlines, trying to come up with the money for fees and travel, and then the waiting to hear that all is well and you can travel.
My daughter has been with me for two years now. She is my greatest hero and I still marvel when I look into her eyes and know that she has all of her Estonian heritage in her strength and that I have somehow, added some gentleness and stability within her as well.
Above all else, don't motivate your actions by fear. Trust your gut for it truly will show you the way if you listen.
Good luck on your journey.
PARVENAH