[nancynic]

When categorizing temperament, we often speak about 'easy', 'difficult' or 'slow to warm up'.

The 'easy' child responds to the world in a positive way, adapts to new schools and people easily and deals with frustrating situations with relatively little anxiety. This is about 40% of children.

The 'slow to warm' child may be shy, have moderately intense moods, is hesitant making new friends and in new surroundings, and experiences anxiety when confronting new situations. It takes time for accepting new people and situations.

The 'difficult' child tends to react negatively and intensely ... beginning as a fussy baby and later being prone to temper tantrums, and being explosive, stubborn and intense. Some may have difficulty adjusting to schools and experience problems in the classroom and on the playground.

These traits are inborn and not caused by parents but may be intensified or moderated by them. It is important to distinguish a difficult temperament from other problems (such as ilnesses, emotional or physical stresses, or developmental stages such as 'the terrible twos').

What parents can do -
It is important not to blame children or ourselves - our challenge is to understand temperaments and our responses to them, and to adjust our expectations to meet our children's capabilities. When we understand that our children's temperament is inborn we can respond objectively rather than emotionally or instinctively.

When a child has a difficult temperament as a preschooler, and is met with understanding, the behavior may be modified during school age years. That intensity can become enthusiasm, determination, charm and zeal when kids feel good about themselves.

Although, for the sake of understanding this concept, we are usuing terms like 'difficult' it's important to remember not to label kids as 'bad or difficult' which only causes negative self-image and lack of self confidence.

Would love to hear of your experiences with your child's temperament and ways that you have worked with it.

Nancy