Hi and Welcome,
We adopted our son through domestic parental placement (AKA 'private adoption') 17 months ago. I will tell you any agency whose fees are in the $30,000 range for a domestic parental situation for a child of any ethnic background is completely unreasonable. Our total costs including advertising, travel, medical, legal and homestudy was $14,000, we didn't pay that out all at once, and ours was on the 'high side'. We're friends with 10 other couples who've adopted the same way and none had total expenses over $10K besides us. The reason why you see those $30K + situations advertised is because they can't easily find people willing or able to pay those kinds of fees.
I am a firm believer that it is very possible to adopt an infant of any ethnic heritage domestically within a year, and without paying outrageous fees. It takes time to network, a bit of persistence, and patience as you pursue your plans.
First, I'd recommend you check these books out of your library or get them at a bookstore or online/eBay:
The Open Adoption Experience by Lois Molina
Adopting In America: How to Adopt Within One Year by Randall Hicks
Dear Birthmother by Kathleen Silber
Then, ask your OB/GYN, local clergy/religious leader, friends, etc. for recommendations on local agencies. Also see if there's a local adoption support group. If so, go and ask the membership who they used. Interview AT LEAST three agencies and ask for itemized fee schedule, how often they do domestic situations, services provided, etc. Check their licensing and their status with the BBB. Check with the Adoption Guide too
www.theadoptionguide.com. Be wary of agencies who immediately want to talk with you about international adoption.
You'll also need an attorney experienced in domestic adoption. TThe American Academy of Adoption Attorneys keeps a member list online at
www.adoptionattorneys.com. Again, interview AT LEAST three and ask for fees, services, how many adoptions they've completed, etc.
It's important that you're comfortable with both your agency and attorney as you'll be working a lot with them.
I have found that in most domestic parental placement adoptions connections with potential birth families happen through personal networking - getting the word out to everyone you know that you're looking. I'm guessing you may be a military family, which actually is a good source. DH was AD/USN (now retired) when we were searching. He was approached after we connected by another sailor whose daughter was pregnant and after we finalized was also approached by a young sailor who was pregant and wanted to place. I do have a list of 'search tips', most of which were pretty inexpensive. Please feel free to e-mail when you're ready to start & I'll send them.
Hang in there, adoption is a confusing roller coaster. Please feel free to ask questions!
Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas