This message was originally posted by
hope4kids.
Hi, I haven't posted here in a long time. I still have the same baby I had before. Finally DCFS declared her medically complex and moved us to a private agency more capable of handling her needs. It has made our lives much easier!
The goal has changed too since the last time I posted and it looks like we are heading towards adoption. I will probably adopt her by the spring! I am excited. She has been with me since just after birth and we have been through so much together. She has come so very far.
My question has to do with any experiences anyone has had with open adoptions. You see, her dad is still very involved in her life and would like to stay involved but surrender his parental rights to me so I could adopt her. He is stable and cares very much for her. He has anguished over the decision to parent or to sign the surrender papers. He could have her back if he wanted to, but he feels like that would not be the best thing for her. She has some complex medical issues and needs a lot of care. He works two jobs and doesn't really have the time to meet the medical needs. In our state it will be completely up to me how much and what kind of contact he has with her post-adoption. I don't know what decisions I will make there. I don't think I want him to have our address. I do want him to see her regularly, but I don't think I want him to have unsupervised visits. He never has had an unsupervised visit, and if something happened medically on a visit, I don't know if he could handle it. I don't even know what all I need to think through. All I know is I only want to commit to things I have every intention of following through.
When the adoption day comes, what role does dad play? Should I invite him to be at the courthouse? I have so many questions. I am sure there are even miore I should be asking myself.
Any thoughts?
cathy