[joskimo]

My husband and I are legal guardians of 2 nephews. We've had the boys for 7 years, since they were 6 & 7 years old. We also have a daughter, the ages are DD 9, DN#1 13, DN#2 14 -- in August, DN#2 sexually assaulted my daughter. It's been a horrible and confusing time. We had him arrested but have kept him out of kid-jail for the time being. He's been staying with my parents (not his grandparents by birth, he's my DH's sister's son). He has a probation officer, my daughter is attending counseling, he has had 2 MH evaluations, we're waiting for the results. It appears that he was a victim as well in his early childhood.

Here's the thing. With all the treatment in the world, I don't think I want him to live with us again. My parents are not a long-term option. I love these boys and would have stood by each of them through the ends of the world, but to assualt my daughter pushes my last button. I communicate with him and see him once - twice a week, but we are not a family any longer, and as far as that goes, we can't be a family with my parents either because they have to supervise him. NO Thanksgiving, no Christmas. I am thinking it might be best if we gave him up but am feeling guilty. We never adopted because the parents, life long drug addicts kept changing their minds and we didn't want to have to fight for custody. But in my heart I adopted them and gave them a lifetime committment, I"m just not sure in these circumstances I can honor that committment to DN#2.

Has anyone had an adopted child do something like this? What did you do?