[6kiddos]

We have been foster parents for many years and know the grief involved when a child leaves your home...we are now adopting a child that was in another foster home for over a year, so we have made an extra effort to be forgiving of any comments or actions that may seem to be negative toward us. Pain causes people to do and say things that they ordinarily wouldn't do or say.

Foster families do incredible things for children...nurturing them and loving them through difficult times while knowing that they will return to their birth families/other relatives (80% do!) or possibly be adopted by other families. What wonderful examples of selfless love! So often foster families hear the expression "I would love to do foster care, but I love children so much that I would never be able to let them go!" Real selfless love looks at the needs of the child and not you own needs and that is what foster families represent...real love. But real love causes real pain and even selfless, nurturing, caring, wonderful people suffer that pain and sometimes lash out at the wrong people. Be forgiving of each other and keep the child first in all of this. Find ways to let the foster family know how much you appreciate what they did for your child...it may take a while to build a relationship, but finding that connection is vital to allowing your child to feel free to love many people. My child has a photo album filled with pictures of people who love her...we need to start another album because it is so full!