I have to admit...I knew I would get flack for saying "settling" and perhaps its not the best word, but I can't really describe the feeling.
We have let everyone at CAFS know from day 1 that we do not want to adopt these boys, no matter how wonderful they are. They have let us know back that their chance of getting adopted is all honesty, slim to none.
That news saddens us deeply as they really are wonderful boys. We have also talked with CAFS services many many times about how we are fully willing to keep the boys until they can find a permant adoptive home for them, and if that does not happen, then we are willing to keep them until they are no longer in foster care.
We DO care about the boys...and are so proud of their accomplishments. The oldest has gone from D's and D-'s in school to A's. That is something totally amazing for him. This is the kid who is in grade 5 but supposidely working at a grade 3 level. Infact today he had a provinces/capitals/abreviations test and got 100%...when I first started studying with him 1 1/2 weeks ago for the test, he could only get 2 out of the 13 provinces. Today he thanked me for helping him study. He is so proud of himself.
The youngest has also improved in school. He too is studying the provinces for a test next week and it looks like too will do very well. He is currently in grade 3 working at a grade 1-2 level.
I might not have made it clear in my past messages...but I'd like to say that we do not treat these kids as second class kids and infact correct every person who thinks so. They are great kids...they did nothing wrong...they just had a rough family life at home. Norm and I got married in August out of town and everyone asked "so who's watching the kids when you go to get married?" Well, they came with us...and we treated them just as we would treat our own kids. Not once have we said/thought that they couldn't come with us or do things with us because they weren't really ours. Cuz in all honesty, they are ours...for now...they are our kids that just happen to be foster kids.
Since my intial post, I forgot to mention this too...the kids have asked if we were going to adopt them a few times and we did tell them that although they are great kids, we are not looking to adopt them. Though we did mention that they are welcome to stay with us as long as they are able.
We really don't know what the future holds for us or for the boys. We hope that they have a wonderful life whether they stay with us or whether they are adopted. Either way, we hope that they will be able to live in a home for a long time without having to worry about where they are moving to next. AND for us, by next year, we hope to have our little girl and perhaps, unless they have been adopted by then, a couple of really great boys living with us.