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Old 09-30-2003, 01:29 PM
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tobeafamily tobeafamily is offline
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Hi Matt & Welcome,

I think your first step would be to think about how you want to pursue your adoption plans. There are three primary ways of becoming a parent through adoption. There is no 'best way' - each carries its' own benefits and risks. They are:

1. International
2. Domestic Parental Placement
3. Domestic Waiting Child/Foster Care

When thinking about which route is the best 'fit' for yourselves, I'd recommend asking and discussing questions like these:

1. How important is it that your child share your ethnic heritage?
2. What age would you consider - infant, toddler, older child?
3. How comfortable are you in parenting a child with issues related to previous neglect, institutionalization, abuse?
4. How much are you willing/able to spend in fees?
5. How comfortable are you in sharing your lives with others?

As for agencies, I'd recommend you ask for recommendations from your family doctor, your wife's OB/GYN, religious leader, etc. Also, see if there's a local adoption support group - members of groups like these are generally quite willing to share their experiences, lessons learned, etc.

A good source on the web to 'check out' agencies, though not inclusive, is The Adoption Guide www.theadoptiongude.com.

HTH, please feel free to ask questions.

Regina, Amom to Ryan Joshua Thomas
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