[lbateman]

Lack of grandparent support
I would love to hear from those of you who've dealt with the situation and how you've responded.

Prior to adopting our precious 12 & 13 yr old sibling girls, we met with my parents, showed them a video, etc. to bring them into our process of adopting. The girls came to visit last Thanksgiving and the night my parents came over to dinner it was a disaster. My mother was rude, cold, etc. and the girls knew it. My mother later told me that she could not "act" a way she didn't feel. We moved ahead with the adoption because we were certain it was God's call and plan for us. My parents sent me an awful email outlining why this was a bad decision, why they didn't support it and why they would not consider these children their grandchildren. My father has softened his position over these past 9 months however my mother has not. My father came to our adoption ceremony in May, but my mother did not. Oh yeah, they blame us for not "allowing them to get to know the chldren". I dread the upcoming holidays because I do not want to spend time with my mother, given that she has had nearly 10 months now to make some attempt at getting to know our children. We've not been invited to their summer home, or to their home 1 hour from here. I find it difficult to have conversations with my mother on the phone knowing her indifference to my new family situation.

What are your suggestions regarding the parameters for maintaining a relationship with my mother without it damaging my family or even me?