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Dinsdale,
If you really feel "forced" into adopting then you shouldn't do it. I firmly believe that both husband and wife need to agree and be on board or there could be lots of problems now and later.
There have been times when I have pressed my husband, tried munipulation tatics, etc...but then I realized that truly in my heart I didn't want to adopt if he wasn't with me. He didn't even need to be 100% like I'am but he did need to feel like he was ready. For me to force him into it would have just been plain wrong.
Finally after a nine year wait I decided between God and I that I would ask him one more time and if he still felt the same I would take that as my answer from God and never bring it up again. This was very hard for me, but I couldn't stand being in limbo any longer.
I asked. My husband then asked to see the application from the place we would consider working with. I showed him the application, but let him do most of the talking and question asking. The next day we were filling out the application. And I felt so much better that I had waited and not pushed so hard that my husband felt forced. We are both commited to this adoption process 100% and we are both happy.
We are shopping for and putting together our nursery together and talking about parenting. It's an exciting time which I don't think would have been the case if I would have forced my husband to accept MY decision.
Judy
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