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My husband and I just recently finalized our adoption of a 10 year old girl 8/26. The emotional roller coaster isn't always waiting for Parental Rights to be terminated. Dealing with DSS in general and the kids involved with DSS is emotional, frustrating, aggravating, and just downright stress inducing. It is my understanding that you have to be a licensed foster parent in the state of Mass to be considered a potential adoptive parent. You are however listed as wanting to adopt over being strictly a foster parent. This eliminates you getting those urgent phone calls from SW about temporary emergency placements of other foster children. There are so many options to consider. My hubby and I knew that we could not take the emotional upheaval of having a child removed from our home in the event that the birth parent pulled themselves together long enough to get their child back. So our decision was to go for a legally free older child. With that comes the emotional baggage, trauma and uncertainty these children live with the entire time they are in the sytem. The majority of older children have enough acronyms in their health records to sound like Microsoft's latest instruction manual. Younger children usually have siblings that are older, and DSS wants to keep them together. It's a vicious, vicious cycle that needs such a complete overhaul, it's enough to make you re-think the whole process. I can however tell you that my husband and I have the most beautiful little girl, and if we can ever convince the powers that be to provide us with the type of therapy we're requesting, our dream of a family may actually begin to come true. I know I sound just a little jaded, and a tad frustrated with the system. But the whole reason my husband and I got involved with DSS in the first place was because we truly believe every child deserves a family. Ask lots of questions before making a decision, and by all means talk to other parents who have adopted thru the state. Also feel free to contact me if you'd like more information about our road to adoption. It's been a ride, that's for sure. Sorry this is so long, but I wish I'd known then, what I know now.
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