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BunkyPA and tulip,
About a year ago an EX friend of mine had her two little boys taken by SS's....I babysat her boys a lot and never saw any physical indications that she was abusing them. I went to court with her and stood up in front of the judge and spoke on her behalf as both friend and babysitter. I ended up chewing on my foot!
It was her 16 yr old daughter who called the SS's, it was her daughter she was beating with electrical cords and even pushed her out of a moving van. I also learned that there were dead animals in her house, animal waste and garbage all over the place and this woman's entire focus was on what man she could find next.
She lied to me, operated on pretense and I made an a$$ out of myself and was horrified to learn the truth. She was made to attend anger management, have a psyche eval and get counseling for her horrendous neglect and abuse of all her children and when she completed the classes, they gave her back the boys. She never wanted the daughter back and hates her.
Three points here:
One is, friends lie and unless we sleep with them, we cannot know all that goes on.
Two, the system does not always work. It fails the innocent over and over again.
Three, abuse does not always have a physical mark and when it does the people who view the injuries are trained to know how they happen. For instance, a fall from a bed, unless it is the top bunk, will not produce specific types of injuries. Abuse shows in where and size and shape of the injury. A child hit with an object will have a specific type of injury and Dr's and SW's know the difference.
Tulip, I feel your heart and appreciate your fire and cause but be cautious, think this through. We passionate types often fail to see the one thing staring us in the face.
I don't know about the propriety of the foster mom but my guess is that she too cares for this boy, however interpreted or seemingly off. Think before you go sounding alarms, moving a child to another foster home will harm him more emotionally. RAD is very real for some children and this little boy's safety and well being should be at the forefront and not his mother's desires. At least he is loved where he is! Our children are not our posessions but people in their own right, please think of him.
You will all be in my thoughts...
Love
__________________
SoulWhisper
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