I very much admire your strength! You are a little further along than me, so perhaps once our homestudy is complete, I'll have a little more nerve. I agree with what you said about God's plans. He knows what He is doing.
I do a little window shopping when I have a baby shower to attend--insanely enough, I had three in one month this summer. Thinking about what I might want to buy for my child takes a little bit of the pain out of walking up and down those aisles, seeing all that cute stuff. Right now, I kind of feel like an imposter, but I probably need to stop being so pessimistic
and believe God knows what is best for me and my sweet hubby.
Have fun on your shopping spree!