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Originally Posted By Jennifer

Linda,

I am an adoptee who as been in reunion with her bmother for 12 years. There have been many ups and downs over that time but thanks to this board, and the people here, the past 6 months of our reunion have been better than I ever could have imagined. In the beginning of our reunion I listened but didn't really hear what my bmom had to say. I was feeling too angry and hurt and was unwilling to deal with my own emotions. This prohibited us from having the relationship we have now. I tell you all of this because during the 12 years that we have been in reunion I had a daughter of my own. She is now almost 5 years old. I have come to realize that when my daughter was born I became even more angry with my bmom. I was a single mother and couldn't imagine why I could take responsibility for MY actions and raise my child while my bmom had chose to let someone else take care of me. I just became more and more angry without even understanding why. Then through conversations with other birthmothers on this site I've come to understand all the reasons why a mother might make the decision to reliquish her child and that they have nothing to do with not being responsible. Perhaps with the birth of his own child your son is dealing with some new emotions regarding his adoption, emotions he has not yet identified himself or is not yet willing to address. Do send him a note telling him that you miss him and love. Let him know that while you wish to respect his need for "space" you are thinking about him. Then give him the "space" he is asking for. He will be back. I speak from experience. He needs you as much as you need him. I wish you the very best. You will be in my prayers.