[Archive]

Hi Wendy;

First let me express my sadness for your bmom's first reaction. I cannot totally understand the initial second rejection but, I have experienced a later rejection with my own bfamily.

Send your letter. Your bmom may be in a state of shock, denile or a great deal of pain in her memories. She may come to a differrent place if given time. Some bmom's initial reaction is NO, NO, NO, not because they don't want too meet you but because they are so scared of what your feeling's are going to be towards them. Also, if you were the perverbial secret she may feel nervious about opening that unopen door.

Give her time she may come around; it has happened a lot. Some adoptee's initial reaction has been "NO", but the bparent takes some time to think things through and they change their minds. Don't forget your now a part of her everyday thinking right now. I mean that she knows you are out there and you are wishing for contact; she will wake up with that and go to bed with that every night.

I hope that my thoughts are right and your letter will reasure her that you are not angry and don't want anything from her and she will allow you in. Hold onto positive thoughts.

Best wishes
Christine