[drewg181]

In 1990 I made a terrible mistake w/my then wife. She was pregnant at the time. In 1992, I allowed her husband to adopt my two children, ages 4 and 2. Leap ahead to 2003...I live within 15 miles of them, I have my own wife and my own children with my wife.

If you were my ex-wife and her husband, what would you say/think/feel if you received this letter at home: (names are fictitious)

Thank you for your comments

_________

I believe the only thing more difficult than writing this letter is reading it, so my fervent prayer is that God grants you patience and understanding as you read.

Jan and Jack, you and your family have been on my mind for months. Not the “back of my mind” stuff, but in my dreams, in my daily thoughts. It’s been a burden, yet always worth bearing. The few tangential peeks into Mike’s and Amy’s life seem to show a wonderful family, with great gifts and great opportunity. Trust me - these peeks are only through newspapers and news clips available to anyone. But I treasure them.

In my recollections, there is a glaring gap – Have I ever sought forgiveness for the sins I committed against you? To you Jan for the unspeakable pain and upheaval I caused you. To Amy and Mike, for allowing stupid acts and stupid pride to tear apart a marriage and family. To Jack, for placing him in a difficult place. I sinned against <<other names>> for making them see their precious daughter, sister, or granddaughter suffer and have to bear a terrible burden. I sinned against my parents – they no longer see their only granddaughter. And I sinned against <<other names>> - my family. They have to bear the effects of a father torn and ridden by guilt and angst.

A treasured family friend, who also knew <<wife>> and me, and whose wisdom and counsel I honor, advises that perhaps the adoption may not have been for the best. I don’t know if I agree on that point, but if it was wrong, if you and Jack felt it was wrong, if it placed hardship on you and your family, I apologize too. Perhaps it was my way of maintaining pride, of paying penance. Again a prideful act may have gotten in the way of other, perhaps better, avenues. There is no way of know how any other course of action would have worked, but I am truly thankful for how you have made this one work.

Jan and Jack, I seek your forgiveness - I pray for it. I don’t presume you two have had the difficulties I have had, so perhaps this chapter for you has been long closed. But it is my hope you reply to this letter simply letting me know you have received it, and if you wish, a brief glimpse into how Amy and Mike are doing. Please - agree or disagree - just let me know you have received this and understand what I have tried to share.

May God continue to bless the you both, and of course your family,