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Hi,
We foster adopted in Utah. Foster parent rights are few to none when it comes right down to it. This seems to be pretty universal, but if there's a state out there that's different - Great! This is the thing I disliked most about the experience.
We, too, had a set of grandparents involved who felt that they should have their grandson placed with them. Grandma even felt that she had a better bond and commissioned a "bonding study" to prove it. It did not have the desired result and portrayed them negatively and us positively. In the end they withdrew their petition to adopt.
We have great compassion for our son's birth family, and did consider a situation where they would have ongoing contact. Unfortunately this wasn't possible due to several factors, but when it is emotionally healthy for the adopted child I think it should be strongly considered. It could work out to be a wonderful experience. Expectations and boundaries should be clear from the start.
Hope all works well for you. It sounds like our situtations are at least similar, and ours had a positive outcome.
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Oo-de-lally, golly what a day!
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