[louise]

I have two of them and boy can they be tough to live with.

I have some contacts and info on FAS/ARND if you are interested. There are no concrete answers with these young people. Depending on your perspective the prognosis is either bleak or hopeful. I have come to accept that the brain damage is permanent and incurable. I will facilitate my children's learning in whatever way I can and allow them to learn in whatever way *they* can. I expect that both of my ARND children to need assisted living support into their adult lives. We are already making preparations for just that. I have moved past seeing this as 'failure" or "giving up". I see it now as meeting my children's needs in the most appropriate way I possibly can.

Sometimes the best we can do for our children is to take care of ourselves. Take care of yourself, Lucy, you are doing the best you can.