colin
You got that right she never took responsibility for anything not even my sister whom I still haven't located her.
You want to more interesting news I read my medical reports from the incedent and I think she was somehow involved in the abuse. I just can't really say for sure.
But I know one thing when she said she was moving down where I was I was excited and scared.
Meeting her was one thing but to be right in town, i just wasn't ready for that.
The thing that I couldn't figure out about her was I couldn't look her in the eyes. I would even have nightmares about her coming after me. That started after we met and she came for her so called "visit"
Reunions can be fun but, they sure do take alot of energy out of you. I know I get burned out by day 3. So try to get plenty of rest during your reunion.
I feel a little better now that I don't have contact with her but in the same sense I feel confused. like guilty for finding her and not keeping in contact at least for my niece's sake. I know they abuse her you can see it on her face. She won't say anything but I know just by her reactions to certain situations.
I'm glad I don't have contact with my bmom but I'm sad bc I can't see my niece. The extended family to my bmom could really care less about me. So life goes on and I've become a better person and parent bc of this situation.
The first few days were fine but when it went into the next few she would drain every ounce of energy for me and I would do it bc I knew my niece deserved better.
But end the end I couldn't bear her blaming for actions she took when moving to be close to me. She wanted to hang out everyday all day and I hated that. I like my space and defenately need it or I just become miserable.
I know it's best in the long run to just keep away from her but deep down I still feel some kind of guilt for finding her and then just leaving her.
But i read something interesting the other day and it said, " If your in a negative inviroment get out" Because it will cause you to become negative and you will just end of depressed.
That's how the situation with her was negative. She was never greatful for anything and I never got a Thank-you for stuff I gave them for there house.
She once told me she gave my niece everything she would have given me but, you know what she left out something called LOVE the biggest thing she should of gave me and especially the thing she should still be giving my niece.
That baffles my mind how can a person have a child taken away and in the same state years later have custody of a child.
My sister was raised by my grandmother, which is now dead. But what I understand my grandmother was a miserable person and was the same as my bmom.
My heart aches for my niece and I just pray she's stays as safe as she can and for now I just have to go on.
That is the best thing I can do not only for myself but for my family as well.
I know this the longer I'm away from the negative enviroment the better I feel. Not only that but I don't have to worry about her coming and asking me for things that she should be able to provide on her own. She's older than me she should have been the parent and not the child. I was being more like her parent than the daughter. What a shame.
Not to say I haven't asked others for help. Sometimes people get in binds and I have somehow gotten myself in plenty of those but, I don't keep mooching of people when someone lends a hand. I also have just a little to much pride and when I'm really stuck I have a hard time asking. Usually I try to figure it out on my own and do it myself.
Well I hope all is well with you.
take care.
my e-mail address is
sjcna@cimcast.net if you ever want to e-mail me.
Talk to you soon.
sjcna