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These are hard for me to answer, because it's been 20 years since I was 15. But I'll give it a try.
1- how much of your parents opinions counted when making your own decisions at my sons age?
Not much at all. I was quite rebellious and pretty much made my own decisions (and a lot of mistakes).
2- How many of you thought of your birthfamilies as a family, and would you have balked at the thought of a birthfamily member "claiming" that they were family.
At 15, I didn't think of them as family. I wouldn't have wanted them to claim me as family, but I think I would have liked basic information and just to know that they cared about me.
3- Was anger an issue, and if so how well did you deal with it, and do you believe it was due to your adoption.
I was an angry teen, but I don't think this was due to my adoption. It was mostly because my parents had no clue how to deal with teens (does anyone really know how to do this?).
4- When did you come to realize that you would benifit from knowledge that your birthfamily had re medical and genetic history.
I was always curious about the genetic stuff.
5- would you have been happy if your parents and your birthparents communicated?
Yes.
6- Was it important to you to know what your birthfamily looked like?
Yes.
LC
PS: Keep in mind girls generally mature faster than boys.
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