[dl]

I'm still a little confused by what you're asking. You seem to be saying it is okay for a bmother to use the phrase "since I gave you up". Seems to me that is not what is bothering you. You then say "But for others, a third party for instance, to use the term does not give the child a voice." I don't understand what third party would ever have occasion to say "since I gave you up". Are you questioning if a third party were to say (and I still can't grasp WHY a third party would say it) "since your bmother gave you up"? In this instance, I would definetly prefer "since your bmother placed, relinquished or surrendered". To me, and only my opinion, "gave you up" sounds like "I give up" or "I quit". I personally don't care for any phrase that would give the impression, even unintentionally that a bmother "quit" on her child. Again, JMHO.

Please try to give an example of what third party said this phrase. Maybe if we better understand the context of the conversation it was said in we might be better able to provide some feedback.