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What do you want to hear?
What terms do you want used? I don't mean to be mean but if you analyze your bmom's every term the fear on her part will be to be so careful to pick her word that she may not tell you her true feelings only because it is easier to talk about other things. She is dealing with as much as you are right now and since you found her (if I remember correctly) in my opinon you need to give her the time to find her words and feelings.
D
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