[melchak]

My biggest fear for the future first parents of our child is that they won't recover from their decision not to parent. If I could plan my perfect adoption scenario we would have a very open adoption--so I worry about my future friend(s), the mother of my son/daughter and what her life is like and if her heart and soul will heal well enough or soon enough for her to have a full, rich life. I feel like we're adopting a family (maybe an unusual one but our own none the less) not just a baby and I want all the members to be as whole as they can be. The idea of getting to parent and sharing the experience with this other woman seems unbelievable but will my parenting be the thing that causes my friend, this mother unyielding pain and if so how do I forgive myself. Sounds awfully dramatic but that's my deep dark fear that sometimes paralyzes me from going any further.

kerry