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hi there again!
After growing up and having children I never really saw what was going on with me bc it was always pushed down. I too have just relocated my bmom and found out I have a bsis well not to rain on your parade but mine wasn't the greatest but I did learn alot I learned I didn't want to be like her. See I was taken away from her and when I found her and asked alot of questions she lied to me bc her stories would change alot. She has custody of my niece and I feel bad for my niece. My niece is going through mental and physical abuse. My bmom seems very depressed and when I met her I got closure but it also opened my eyes to a whole other side that I was like her partially. Sure sounds like you have a great bmom but for me it wasn't the case. I haven't found my bsis she wouldn't tell me where she was except she lives in florida. Luckily for me I didn't have to grow up in that situation but I still had emotional and mental disorders and my adopted parents just thought it was bc I was adopted. I gave my niece a brand new bed, some new clothes and shoes, all her school supplies, and my bmom an antique bedroom set we weren't using. But, that wasn't enough she was always asking me to cosign things and give her money which I didn't and she would get upset and blow up. Just a situation I chose not to be around. to make things worse they moved to where I was living. I din't like her husband she wanted me to call him dad when he was never my dad not even biologically. I had a run in with him when he pushed my oldest child and that was the last straw I asked them to leave my house and haven't spoken to them since. But that's o.k I got my answers and that's when alot of my promblems started to come back to surface when she was around. I couldn't even look her in the eyes or be around her without having anxiety attacks and nightmares. I now know deep down by all of the medical reports and other info I received that she was involved in my abuse. as I was reading the post on ptsd i knew that's what I had by having simular conditions. Well enough about her.
What are my goals!
my goals are to take care of this disorder and put it in order so I can give 100% more to my kids and hubbie. They mean the world to me. after that my other goals are to become an author some day and write books I have started one already. The other goal is to give my children the best education I can see I homeschool my kids. I just recently pulled them out of public school to teach them at home and they're doing pretty good so far not to mention they like the one on one attention. I may have a promblem with affection but I don't when it comes to the education of my children.
My plans.
Not real sure what my plans are except to move forward in the direction that i seem to be going. I have had some really great days here lately. but, I'm also going to get into a group for victims of abuse. I know that will help me get through what has been pushed down for years. So my so called disorders LOL don't have to effect my whole life once I get in control and change that.
I love the dr. phil show i think he's great I watch him every chance I get I love to hear inputs from other parents it inspires me like writing to you has been Inspiring also. I have made a decision to stay focused and not get off track and I always tell myself if everyone was to see a schyc they to would have some mental ailment except we can atleast identify to why we may have this whereas they may not know except that they just do. And for my knowing is good enough for me than being labeled as a mental mess (lol) and not even knowing the cause. Well I'll keep you posted on what's going on and you do the same o.k.
Well take care and I'll talk to you soon.
sjcna
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