MY BIRTH FAMILY AND I JSUT GOT IN TOUCH THROUGH E-MAIL AND THROUGH THE ADOPTION AGENCY. WE STILL HAVE NOT MET AND THAT IS BECAUSE I AM NOT 18 YET. I WILL BE 18 IN JUST A FEW MONTHS THOUGH AND HAVE BEEN VERY EAGER FOR SO MANY YEARS. NOW I AM NOT SURE. I HAVE FOUND OUT A LOT ABOUT MY BIRTH FAMILY THAT I DID NOT KNOW BEFORE. MY BIRTH MOTHER USED TO WRITE TO ME, BTU THAT STOPPED IN 1993, THEN ON VALENTINES DAY WE RECIEVED A CALL FROM THE AGENCY TELLING US THAT SHE HAD CONTACED THEM AND WOULD BE SENDING SOME STUFF SOON. SHE DID. NO EZPLANATION THOUGH AS TO WHY SHE HAD STOPPED WRITING. I ALMOST FELT ABANDONED IN A WAY, BUT MY ADOPTIVE MOTHER KEPT ON TELLING ME THAT SOMETHIGN WAS PROBABLY WRONG AND THAT SHE WAS PROLLY GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME. I FOUND OUT FROM MY OLDER BIRTH SISTER THAT MY BIRTH MOTHER HAD BECOME A HEROINE ADDICT AROUND THE TIME THAT SHE STOPPED WRITING TO ME AND THAT IS WHEN SHE LOST CONTACT WITH EVERYONE. I GUESS THAT IS HOW MY GRANDMA GOT CUSTODY OF MY LITTLE SISTER.
I HAVE NEVER REALLY MET ANY OF MY BIRTH FAMILY, BUT I DREAM ABOUT IT. LITERALLY. I HAVE HAD DREAMS AT NIGHT THAT I WENT TO MEET THEM. SOME OF THEM I HAD RUN AWAY FROM HOME TO GO MEET THEM. NOT REALLY RUN WAY, JUST KEPT IT A SECRET FROM MY ADOPTIVE PARENTS AND THOSE DREAMS KINDA FREAKED ME OUT A LITTLE. SOME OF THE OTHER ONES WERE ABOUT ME GOING TO SEE MY GRANDMA, AND I WAS WITH MY ADOPTIVE FATHER BOTH TIMES. THAT ONE TELLS HOW AFRAID I AM TO GO SEE HER ALONE WITH ALL THAT I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT HER.
I ALSO USED TO THINK SO MANY OTHER THINGS ABOUT MY BIRTH FAMILY. I THOUGHT THAT THINGS WOULD BE BETTER. HALF OF THEM ARE IN DEBT, AND ARE NOT IN THE BEST STATE OF MIND. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THAT I WAS ONE OF THOSE ADOPTEE WHO HAD "FANTACIES" ABOUT THEIR BIRTH FAMILIES. I STILL HOPE TO MEET THEM ALL SOMEDAY. HALF OF THEM ARE GOING TO TRY AND COME AND SEE ME FOR MY GRADUATION FROM HIGH SCHOOL THIS YEAR. I HOPE THAT WORKS OUT AND THAT I DON'T GET MY HEART BROKEN.
ANGEL
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