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an idea
I dont know if it is a good idea to have a baby shower for the prespective adoptive mom before the baby is actually placed as it puts your daughter, (who by the way is currently just an expectant mother, rather than a birthmom until she places the baby) in a very uncomfortable position should she change her mind and choose to parent (which at least 50% of the time happens after the baby is born) no matter what her intentions are.
However, should everything go as planned and everyone's emotions are doing ok, considering ... I have heard on one occasion where they did a joint shower for the birthmom and the baby's new mom together. People brought gifts for the baby (ie clothes, toys etc) and brought personal gifts for the bmom (ie movie gift certificates, new clothes for her post baby figure, bath items, fitness passes etc....) to recognize her as a life-giver, first-time mother and new birthmom. Instructions were EXPLICITLY given to all attendees to be sensitive to BOTH parties and it was a fun event ... but I think that can only happen in extra-ordinary circumstances.
Chances are, your daughter will be grieving deeply and an emotional wreck and this just might be too much. Doesnt mean you cant hold a separate life-giving shower for her too though to recognize her loss, her strength and her journey into birth-momhood.
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