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to kcmays-
My stomach is in complete agony as I read your last post. How awful!
My husband and I started our adoption journey looking at kids that were legally free. When we were approached by our worker with a 7 month old boy that was NOT legally free, and we really didn't know exactly what that meant, we decided to take him. "We'll fight for him, " we said. Totally ignorant. When you are a foster parent, or even a fost/adopt family that has the intentions of adopting, and are even told that the birthmother will NEVER get this child back, you have NO RIGHTS! None. The agency said that when you take a child into your home you have to claim them as your own and protect and love and except them as such. But you can't. Not really. Because you would do all those things for your biological children, but you are helpless against the courts and social workers. Helpless. It is absolutely gut wrenching!
We took our son, Max, at 7 months, after he was removed from his mother's home. She was an unfit mother and has all kinds of mental health issues that she refuses to deal with. We had to take him to four day a week visits until last month, (he would scream for his hour visit until they put him back in my arms.) when the judge finally suspended her visits. She does not have the ability to comfort him and when he cries, she cries. Very bizarre. Anyway, termination is September 10th, with finalization in November, after her 45 day appeal period. (God help us till then!) We are literally counting down the days to termination in hopes that no one calls and tells us any bad news. I'm still not comfortable with the fact that he's mine yet. It ain't over till it's over. Until then, we love him like our own and pray to the good Lord that He allows us to keep him. My heart breaks for you as you live what I am so afraid of.
Even though she is very obviously not ready to mother, she's 19, and lives alone, the County STILL tries everything to reunify. Her therapist called last week and said that it would help in her healing if we offered her some visits. I said HELL no. Even though I don't have a say, really, I fought against it and haven't heard anything back from her yet. She's just her therapist and our worker said she would talk to her and see what we could do. Good luck in your journey and I will pray for your son.
Liz
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