[CaGrandma]

Back in the dark ages of adoption, birth moms were told they would never again see their children, to get on with lives and forget it ever happened. They were cautioned never to speak of their child again. They were even told in some cases, that having another child would be a replacement for the one they were not worthy of raising. In places where the records for adoptees have been open for years, it is only in recent years that birth relatives have been allowed any information. With the spotlight now firmly on adoption and the horror it was in those days, many mothers who had never forgotten their babies, but had lived as they were cautioned to, now after so many years cannot confront th
eir pain. I think all wish to know that their babies lived and had good lives. But with decades of living as an " imposter"it is for some, too painful to open that memory bank. Just as each adoptee and adoptive parent is different so are moms. Some can effect a closure,just from hearing their child is alive, others need that contact, but fear being rejected.

I do not think they were told they must not look,. reunion was never a possibilty to be dreamed of in those days,. Agencies ignored letters that were sent to them by the mothers or sent them "canned" answers.
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Until you look for yourself you will not know the outcome, and yours might be one of the happy reunions, of which there are many,.
Ca Grandma