I am a 38 year old adoptee that used a CI this year to locate my birthmom. I had registered with the state's mutual consent registry upon its inception in 1994, and have had my information on the internet, at every available registry, since the internet came about.
I felt, at the time that I hired the CI, that my birthmom's age and "comfort level" with computers, the internet, etc. was more than likely the reason she had never posted or registered anywhere.
I was wrong.
The reason she hadn't attempted any kind of search was because she didn't want to be found. Her pregnancy, birth and subsequent relinquishment was and still is "her secret". Her fear of having to face her family with my existance, as well as having no desire to add turmoil to her life are two of the reasons she has chosen to deny contact with me.
While it is sad, I understand her reasoning and her fears.
Do I wish I hadn't searched? NO WAY!
I am thrilled just to know she is okay....and I have peace at knowing I reached out.
You will never know unless you try!
Hugs,
Sally
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Pain is Inevitable -- Suffering is a Choice!
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