[N2dolfyns]

Hi, my name is Kelly. My husband Rob & I adopted a six year old boy from CH#1 in Almaty last September -- and contrary to the experiences I've read about loving your child from the moment you lay eyes on them...I absolutely LOVED my son before our plane ever left the ground in the states. We worked very closely with our coordinator. I received pictures of our son and they answered all of my questions about his personality...etc. We got video tape of him opening gifts we sent him while we were waiting. I watched them over and over. When that little guy walked into the room for the first time I had to fight the tears. I picked him up and hugged him so tight and kissed his precious little cheeks about a thousand times... there was NOTHING they could tell me about this child, there was NOTHING this child could do that would undo the love I had already felt for him. He was my son and he was coming home with me.

Having said that....there was another little boy at the orphanage that was crying his eyes out when he saw us leaving for the zoo with our son on one of our visits. We were heart broken for him because it seemed we were taking away his best friend and he was sad because he wasn't getting a mama and a papa. Well, the next day the same little boy came running at us laughing and screaming his head off...in a sick and sinister sort of way...flipping us a bird with both hands and sticking his tongue out at us. We stood there, literally, with our mouths hanging open -- unable to process the scene we had just experienced. I can imagine someone coming to adopt him and stopping dead in their tracks after seeing that! If he's doing that at 5 and 6 years old...what's he going to be like as a teenager?

It's too bad this couple chose to travel separately. I can only begin to imagine the marriage trouble I would be having if I showed up and my husband backed out of the adoption of our son -- without having shared the experience that brought him to that conclusion. They both needed to experience that together.

Also, is there any reason why they weren't offered to meet with a different child? I'm guessing that by then they had already been there long enough and couldn't afford or want to be away from their home and family in the US any longer. I also wonder why the husband didn't let his wife know his feelings before she went so far to be disappointed.

It sounds like there were many issues that prevented this adoption from happening - and it doesn't sound like anyone in the Kazakhstan system had anything to do with it... it's the personality of the child -- and the inability of the person who did their home study to see that perhaps this family wasn't ready to adopt and was adopting for the wrong reasons. Children aren't puppies on the street corner that you fall in love with when they are cute and cuddly and regret it all later when reality sets in. It's so wonderful and sweet that with all this family had going on they still wanted to make room in their hearts and home for an orphaned child...but, we all need more than good intentions to make this happen.

I hope their story won't discourage people from wanting to adopt from Kazakhstan. We had a flawless experience adopting there. Everything went smoothly and our son is awesome. He has no behaviorial issues, no attachment disorder, no medical problems...he's just a normal little boy who doesn't always eat all his vegetables, sneaks his french fries before he's finished his chicken strips, and hides the toy he broke because he doesn't want to get in trouble...oh, and I am finding weird little things in his pockets when I do the laundry. Ha!

Good luck to everyone.