[KaseyHamnerM.S.]

Hello Friends,

Some of you may have noticed that I have been AWOL lately. Well, I have good reason. I have been on vacation for a month and I recently ended a six year relationship with my boyfriend Warren. So I would like our next topic to be on, you guessed it, adoptees ending relationships.

A little background . . .

Warren (pseudonym) and I were together for many good reasons. He was there for me when I needed him, but later realized that I needed more of an emotional connection and committment from him. I want to be married again someday and he does not. We grew apart and he was unwilling to work on his issues. As an adoptee and psychologist this became unacceptable to me. I am very clear that ending the relationhship was the right thing to do even though it is understandibly painful. I am also very hopeful of my next relationship. I have a lot to offer and I expect a lot as well. We only get one chance at life, and I deserve the best, as do all of you!

So my question is this . . .

I know that many adoptees suffer from self-sabotage, especially in relationships. However, when do you know if it is REALLY over and not a good relationship for you as opposed to just sabotaging a good thing?

Any comments?

Kasey