Posted this in another forum too...but thought I'd post it here too.
Hi everyone...I'm actually from Canada so I hope my terms make sense to people here.
DH and I were approved for fostering in March. Our first placement is two boys - 9 and10 - who we have had for a little over a month. They have been in care for quite a while...but this past time were apprehended from their birthmom home. Anyhow, they were supposed to be in care for 3 months before a court decision was to made about whether they would become Wards of the Crown (not sure of your wording...but it means they are available for adoption). The boys knew this...somewhat. They do continue to talk about going home. Well, birthmom messed up...she hasn't been in town for over 3 weeks and they really don't know where she is and when she is coming back...she missed the youngest's birthday...she has missed 7 visits. BF is not in the picture...he is court-ordered not to see the boys. So now after only a month they were declared Wards of the Crown. Kids are getting told on Friday this by SW and we will have to obviously have to console them. Any advice on what to say?
Also, DH and I are in the process of being approved for adoption. Kids have some idea this happening...however we are not looking to adopt the boys. We are looking for a girl - 3 years of age or less. How can we explain this to the boys if they ask? I'm worried they might ask...they have in the past asked FH "are you going to adopt us?". But, he didn't know what to say so he pretended he didn't hear them (they were in a car driving and I guess the boys believed him).
Another sad part to this story is that in previous foster homes the boys were not the best kids. There was problems with not listening, bullying, fighting, etc. Since they have been with us...the boys have been totally different. Everyone is amazed...they are waiting for the boys to be bad...waiting for the grace period to be over. But, after 6 weeks it hasn't happened. They are just wonderful...they help with housework without us asking, etc. We are worried that they will not become adopted for a very long time...which means that after we are approved for adoption (probably by this fall according to SW) and after we have our little girl; they will have to be moved to another foster home and then maybe another and another. We are so sad for them...we know their record about being so bad. They are also Native (aka First Nation aka Aboriginal) which doesn't help much.
Sorry for the length...lots of issues.
