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Why don't you compromise? First, figure out how much money you have to spend on becoming parents. Next, subtract out how much you will need to adopt (cost varies widely, from free through foster care to over $25K for international adoption). Then, with the remaining funds, discuss how much of that money you want to invest in trying to get pregnant. If the army gives you fertility benefits and money isn't an issue, then discuss how many months you are emotionally willing to invest. If money isn't an issue, I think 3 rounds of IVF is more than enough of a compromise on your end.
Good luck!!
- Faith
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