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My daughter is 3.5 yo now. The one thing that made it bareable to listen to her cry/scream was to analyze the crying. If she is crying because she is scared or hurt, I go to her immediately. If she is crying because she is mad at me for correcting her, that's part of learning.
You get so tuned in to responding to your babies cries. In the beginning, it means they need you. As they get older, their cries mean many things. It's hard but necessary to change your mindset and realize that it's ok for them to cry when there is a purpose. Hold your ground. It's a test (deliberate or not) to see who is in charge. It HAS to be you for your child's sake and yours.
Just make sure your timeouts are reasonable. I've heard a minute per year of life. It seems to be a good formula for my daughter. My daughter usually sits on the bottom step which is in the kitchen so she isn't far from us.
My daughter also seems to understand when she needs more than a timeout. She will willingly go to her room to "reset". When she comes back, she is usually in a much better frame of mind. She did this yesterday during a playdate that was headed south. It's usually up to her whether or not she feels she needs to go to her room and she decides when she's ready to come back.
Good luck.
Jeannine
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