[tlee70]

I have a question for adoptees and birthparents. I would like to get an idea of who "sought" who in the quest of reunion. I am an adoptee that has found both my birthparents over the last 12 years and I was just curious at the percentages of birthparents vs birthchildren that search.

I have been struggling lately with my feelings of being "wanted". I think part of this is because neither of my bparents went looking for me. My bmom definately did not want to be found, but my bfather is very happy that I found him. Although our (mine and my father's) relationship is heading in the right direction, I still feel some insecurities that he may be forming this relationship out of obligation or some sense of guilt. There have been a few times where statements have been made by him, in passing that breeds my insecurities about whether he really cared about me, wondered about me, worried or even wanted to see me ....etc.

I know that he cares for me now, but somehow I guess I feel a little dissappointed at my lack of "importance" in his life before I sought him out. Does this make sense???

I'm very interested to hear both adoptee's and bparents perspectives on my question regarding being sought out or searching for your biofamily.

Tlee