[kmalay]

What you say is valid, I think you have to take all the information into consideration. The way we are willing to work with it is through the agency. We would start off with letters and photos that I would send to the agency and they would pass them on. We could set up visits that way too. Maybe once or twice a year with the agency hosting it. With that being said, it helps then to have the state's involvement so that you can do that and not have private information let out, but again it really depends on the children. If the child is having issues with it then it shouldn't occure, but you also have to remember that many times the children worry about their parents and what is happening with them. As stated you just need to look at all the info. As to the bmom she needs to think about the best interest of that child and possibly what is in her best interest. If she is going to have a TPR done she may want to look at the situation and see what could be arranged, in our case we are hoping that bmom will realize she either gets some update on the boys and maybe a visit a couple of time or she can fight it and never see the kids again. They will do what they decide. It isn't for everyone and overall everyone has to feel right about it or there will be problems.