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To aMarylandfamily,
Your story is so similar to ours. We were headed uphill with our daughter for a very short time and now it's all going downhill again. What is very upsetting to us is how her therapist at the RTC is wanting us to "baby" her instead of making her accountable for her actions and behaviors. Our incidence this time was over lying straight to me and taking items that did not belong to her. She can not accept the fact that she got caught and was in the wrong and says she hates me ( nothing new there) and her anger towards me makes her want to physically hit me. Her therapist compared her behavior to a 4 yr. old, she is 14 1/2 yr. and knew exactly what she was doing. One of our major problems with her has been extreme lack of trust on our part. We've had her since Nov. 2000 and we can't leave her with anyone else due to not being able to trust her among other things. Having her in a RTC at least gives her more structure but we are slowing seeing how some of their methods are not going to help her.
They want us to continue visiting and taking her home for visits and this time I refused. I beleive it's time she is held accountable for her actions and realizes there are consequences. We have tried treating her as a younger child than she is, this only resulted in her behavior becoming worse. Knowing her the way we do, I honestly believe until she learns she is responsible for her own actions, she will not make much progress.
Lucyjoys advise to you and in my past postings makes a lot of sense to me. I have finally started telling the RTC what we want and are having a say in how her treatment is being done. I hope we can eventually have the same results but at this time we are not to hopeful.
Good luck, I know how difficult this is. Hang in there and work for what you feel is in your childs best interest.
Robin
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