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I agree
I agree with Sharon when she said that everyone has expectations, but what I really got out of your post Ellie-michelle is realising its hard to have expectations, I lost my son to adoption through the years I have built such a large fantasy of my son, that I am terrified that my perseption of him may superseed what he really is. One very real thing is the fantasy, which can intermingle with your expectations. Since I found my son I have tried to base my fantasy on something more real, but it is difficult especially when you do not know the person. So when we fantasize we are subconciously filling in the blanks thus making our expectations of the other person. Every reunion is filled with confusing thoughts, were does the adoptee fit in, were does the birthmother fit in, I think if you go with the flow with trust at the forefront then you are setting yourself up for less hurt and anguish.
Expectations are always going to be there, telliing the other person what you expect is always best, even when your expectations may seem out of this world. at least you are not building resentment.
Hugs
Melissa
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