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Ohhhh Brenda!!!
I am so so so sorry it had to happen to you! I know exactly how you are going through now.
After my birth mother completely rejected me, I had to deal with my own pain, hurts, and anger. It has been 2 years now since my first contact with birth mother.
What helped me pull through is support from my adopted mom and dad. And my new family, my husband and children and in-laws. And last....my newest family.....YOU and other adoption forum members!!!
May your heart be comforted and I could see you have this great forgiveness in your heart. You also have respect for your birth mother but at the same time.....helping yourself to heal is much more important than worrying about birth mother. To wonder about her is okay. You can still love her and think about her. There is nothing wrong about it. But to heal yourself is more important to yourself.
It is her loss. I am so sad that our birth mothers have chosen that path. I am sure our birth mothers would feel some regrets once they grow closer to the end of their lives and that is to their graves. That was what my adopted dad told me. He felt that in the future my birth mother would regret about me once she draws nearer to her death.
Lovemends2
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